I’m going to be married for 16 years on Friday.

Yes, me. The girl who never dreamed of getting married. The girl who never really played house when she was little. The girl who never dreamed she’d be living the life she’s living today.

Sometimes I feel like an imposter in my own life. It feels surreal. To be here. To have what I have. Most of all, the love and devotion I get from my husband. I had never experienced anything like it.

I read a quote once that said, “If you didn’t come from a good family, create one.”

Man. The depth in that.

Looking back over the last 16 years, I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. It’s the thing I’m most proud of in this life. MY family. Not the one I come from. The one Kevin and I made from the lessons our own homes taught us.

That’s why Friday matters. It’s the opposite of what we both came from. We both come from broken homes. His was broken long before mine. Mine was broken too — my parents just waited until I was 19 and pregnant to divorce. They should have done it when I was a child. It would have saved my sister and me a lot of grief. Tomato, tomatooo.

We didn’t even know we were breaking cycles. We see it now. There were moments we almost didn’t make it through. Moments we almost rebuilt the same house we grew up in. Thank God we didn’t.

How we got to year 16 isn’t the word people expect. They say love. Love is the glue. The thing that actually kept us here is forgiveness.

We’re two imperfectly perfect people. We brought pain and anger and old hurt into the marriage. Especially me. I was 23. Every time life threw the whole fruit basket instead of lemons, we forgave. And with each of those, we loved a little stronger. A little harder.

I didn’t think “he’s my person” out loud 16 years ago. I think I knew it anyway. I knew he was a diamond in the rough. I knew he was worth it. I did not know how much I would love him this many years later.

I know now. Without a shadow of a doubt. He is MY person. I swear the universe made this man just for me.

In 39 years, I have never felt the love, respect, and appreciation I feel from him. No one has seen through my imperfections the way he has. No one has given my soul the rest he gives it.

He took me out of fight or flight. I didn’t think that was possible.

He shows me grace. He forgives my shortfalls without batting an eye, without holding it over my head, without losing his love for me.

Hyper-independence is what got me through when shit got hard. That “no one is coming to save you” mentality.

With him, I can put it down. He IS coming to save me. Without pause. Without question. Without expectation.

No one has ever made me feel that safe.

That safety is why I can drop the toxic shit. Set a boundary and keep it. Stand on what I know is right for me. His love let me show up in a way I never could before. It made me a better mother. A better sister. A better friend.

The other day was the proof.

I had to drop everything mid-morning and drive three-plus hours to Natchitoches to get our 16-year-old because she was sick. There was a version of me that would have gone over the edge. I can still see the invisible numbers — missed work, gas, the doctor, the meds — and feel that old tightness in my gut.

Not this time. Podcast on. Tears I couldn’t have stopped if I tried. Because I knew I don’t get to mother like this without him. His support. His dedication. What a fucking blessing.

There was a time I complained about his absence. Young and immature. I didn’t see the sacrifices he made so I didn’t have to miss things, so the kids could have what they deserved.

THAT is love. THAT is devotion.

The kids are older now. Two in college. One on campus at a top school in the state. Out there crushing it. That’s the pay-off. Seeing them happy. Knowing they didn’t always get the best versions of us, and that we still got the important parts right.

We have more time now. It feels like dating again, in the same house we’ve lived in for 18 years. Home projects. Fishing. The boat. Grocery shopping. We laugh. We bicker. We learn. We grow.

His love for me is my superpower. It’s what moves me through the worst days and the best ones.

These 16 years have been my golden years on this earth. I’m looking forward to eternity with him.

Life is choices. A happy marriage is the same. You don’t choose each other once, on a Friday, with a license. You wake up and choose it. Partners. A team. Every single thing, together. The good days, the bad ones, the sad ones. Every day. That’s how you build the family you didn’t come from.