I was soaking in the bathtub the other night, letting the hot water work on my tired bones. My phone was in my hand, my thumb doing that mindless, rhythmic scroll through Facebook. You know the one.

That’s when the truth about comparison started to surface. They say comparison is the thief of joy. But is it? Really?

The Jealousy Ping

I won’t sit here and lie to you. I’m human.

In today’s digital world, where we’ve all got instant access to the highlight reels of each other’s lives, it’s hard not to look. It’s hard to scroll past someone doing something fun and adventurous and not feel a little ping of jealousy.

A nagging feeling of guilt. Maybe even a touch of shame.

But being human means feeling it all. It means having emotions and refusing to ignore them. Because those feelings are often signs—small, quiet reminders of something you’ve forgotten in the relentless hustle and bustle of life.

So to sit here and tell you I don’t compare myself to anyone would be a flat-out lie. I feel it.

And lately, as the summer vacation pictures flood my feed, I’ve been feeling it more. I started thinking, Man… it’s been two years since we’ve taken a family vacay. I started telling myself I should really look at places to take the kids for a quick weekend getaway.

I almost let the guilt win.

The Redirect

But then, I caught the thought.

I tried to capture it and redirect it toward something bigger than shame, guilt, or jealousy. I intentionally shifted it to gratitude.

No, we haven’t taken a vacation with the kids in two years. Hell, thinking back on it, we haven’t done a whole lot of big, flashy things together as a family in quite some time.

I’ve got two kids in college and one finishing out her high school years three hours away. Small kids, small expenses. Big kids, big expenses.

But here’s where the redirect comes in. Here is what I have given my children: a home.

Not just a house, but a quiet, calm, stable home.

It’s not the biggest home. It’s not the best home by some people’s standards. But it’s their home. It’s our home.

It’s the place where they were raised. Where we’ve shared deep laughs, cried a whole lot of tears, and learned the hard lessons.

Granny’s Sirens

Whenever that heavy guilt tries to creep in, I hear my Granny’s words ringing in my ears.

It goes back to my early, highly stressful years of motherhood. I was on the phone with her one day, stressed out of my mind with a mile-long list of “to-dos,” one of which was cleaning my house.

I was huffing and puffing. Complaining about the mess.

I remember her laughing quietly before she calmly and lovingly said, “Well Andrée, sometimes we have to be thankful for the house to clean instead of griping about having to clean the house.”

Those words have stuck with me for over 15 years.

They ring in my ear like sirens when those sneaky, inadequate thoughts come creeping in. She was so right then, and all these years later, she’s still spot on.

Perspective is the Only Thing

If there is one great thing I’ve learned in this life, it’s that perspective isn’t just everything. It is the only thing.

What we perceive to be true, is. It’s just that simple.

If we scroll through social media, look at everyone’s vacation pictures, and decide we’ve somehow failed ourselves or our children because we didn’t take a trip this summer, we are only perceiving that reality.

We completely miss the blessing of having food, shelter, electricity—the basic, simple things that matter more than we ever realize.

That’s the truth about comparison for me — it only distorts what you already have if you let it.

The Winner in My Own Story

We’ve given our kids enough. We give them enough.

So I guess all of this is to say: I get it. I’m that girl sometimes too, sitting in the tub and questioning if I’ve done enough.

But I want to remind every person, every mom, every caregiver reading this that you are doing enough. You are enough.

Find joy in the little things. Find the silver lining. Find the reason to smile, and wrap yourself in gratitude. An attitude of gratitude goes a long, long way.

While comparison may be the thief of joy to some, for me, it has become a humbling reminder.

Above all else, I have given my children a life I could have only dreamed of.

That was always the goal. And because of it, I’ll always be a winner in my own story.